What The H*ll Am I Doing In Paris?
Last month I've traveled from Uganda to Dubai, England, Belgium, and now Paris.
Over the last month there hasn't been a single moment when I've known my plan two weeks out. Two days before I left Dubai, I had no idea where I was going next. A week ago I didn't know I'd be in Paris and a week from now, I'm not sure where I'll end up.
The uncertainty of traveling with an open schedule has brought opportunities my way, but it’s also left me wondering “What the hell am I doing here?!”. Let me explain…
I left Uganda a month ago with the intention to find talent (for a microfinance software I’m building) and capital to invest in Muvule. My journey started in Dubai and from the people I met there, it’s brought me here to Europe.
By keeping my doors open and being open to opportunities as they arise, I’ve been able to go wherever I‘m needed, whenever I'm needed.
In Dubai, my goal was to find a tech co-founder for my software and just a few days after meeting the perfect candidate, I was sitting in his office in England explaining our goals to my new tech team.
On my way out I stopped for coffee with a potential investor in London. He happened to be a micro-finance investor with a focus on blockchain and he’s willing to connect me with ultra high net worth individuals all over Europe. It was a good thing I hadn’t booked my flight back home yet, because meeting him changed my plans yet again!
I‘m currently on the move knowing that my plans for tomorrow could change by the end of today. Is that stressful? Yes. But is it worth it? Absolutely.
I left the States with the intention to make Uganda my home base until I raised the money we need. By making myself available, I can learn about a lead today and be face-to-face with them tomorrow. And even in this digital age, it's 10x harder over Zoom than over dinner. Considering the caliber of people I’m meeting in Europe, the stakes are too high to leave now. So why do I periodically wonder, “What the hell am I doing here?!”… because my biggest challenge over the last month has been uncertainty.
I have financial uncertainty. I've invested a lot of my own money into travel, conferences, and accommodation without knowing if it'll pay off. I have uncertainty over my plans and where I'll end up short term and long term. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t just give up and live a simple life like this couple selling coffee on the street in Paris.
Instead, I’ve fully committed to a few months of stress and uncertainty while I get this job done. I cut the lease to my apartment in Minneapolis with the intention that Uganda is my home base until we‘ve raised the money we need. I don’t even have a stable home to go back to right now. I’m all in.
The downside to going all in is that all this uncertainty can push anyone into a state of fear, anxiety, and when things don't pan out--depression.
I sometimes wonder if I've made a mistake. There have been days when things aren't going well at all and I wonder, "Why did I do this to myself?". But amidst the ups and downs there has been one healing thought that has always brought me back down to reality.
Whenever I’m feeling down, I remind mysf that "This is exactly where I need to be."
Faith is the antidote to uncertainty. Faith heals anxiety. When you have faith, you feel powerful. When you have faith, you're unstoppable. There is no feeling more powerful than an absolute conviction that you are on the right path, that you are following your divine purpose.
So instead of dwelling in anxiety, I remind myself of how far I have come and the “coincidences” that have brought me here. Within months of setting the intention to (one day) build a business in Africa, I was strategizing my own. When I went to Uganda with the hidden intention to find a business partner in micro-finance, I found Moses.
Was it coincidence or was I guided?
You can believe what you want, but I believe there is a divine power, a divine energy that when you ask it for something not for yourself, but with the intention to help others, you will find the way. You will end up on the right path, exactly where you need to be.
Each of us are on a different path in life. As someone on a very different path than what is "normal", I need to remember never to compare myself to others. I am exactly where I need to be right now in this very moment--and I believe you are too.
It may not be easy, but it's not easy moments that help us grow. It's experiencing and overcoming hardships that will change our lives for the better. The best lessons in life come out of hard times. So as you're facing uncertainty, have faith. Have faith in yourself and have faith in the universe. It’s the fuel we as human beings need to never give up, and with it, we can achieve what is seemingly impossible.